Okay, I know it's kinda late, but I decided to do a little recap of a few things I was watching at the end of 2011
Immortals
This is director Tarsem Singh's newest film, his first since "The Fall". When I first heard the words "Tarsem" and "Greek mythology" together, I was excited. Then I saw the preview, and it just looked like a rehashed "300" (a film I loathe almost as much as "Lady in the Water"). I was worried that Tarsem's walking-fashion-shoot style would fall flat on its face. The new wave of sword and sandal movies have proven to follow suit with other contemporary action movies, a hollow visual style, overly complex plot, hot women, and hotter muscle dudes, overall, they leave a lot to be desired. Nevertheless, I felt my eyes begging me to let them feast on whatever Tarsem has to offer. Of course my eye balls were blown away, and my brain was actually pleasantly surprised as well. Tarsem reigns in his intense visual style to convey the difference between the world of men and the world of the Gods, the world of men is dirty and old, saving pure opulence for the Gods. The story is simplistic, not overly complicated, and with the combination of classic storytelling and eye gouging visuals, I can only imagine that this film truly displays the imaginative grandeur of Hellenistic Greece in a way that ancient Greeks would understand. While its characters are archetypal, they do not feel forced, or contrived. Mickey Rourke is especially enthralling as the tyrant King Hyperion, a psychopath who makes sense in the most twisted way. It also has a stronger and more varied feminine presence than most films of its type. Women in this world are warriors, priestesses, mothers, they are shown as both emotionally and physically powerful, though different from men. Of course, it is, fundamentally, an action movie. And it certainly pays off with jaw dropping battle scenes. These are not battles of full armies clashing with swords flying. Tarsem focuses on a more singular style of fighting, focusing on the individual battles that are shaping the future of this world. Yes, men fight men, and Mickey Rourke's final battle really displays his acting chops. But what is really astounding to watch is the battles of the Gods and Titans! It is like The Matrix meets Mortal Kombat (because of the huge amounts of blood), all clad in shiny gold armor. Bottom line, this is the movie about ancient Greece I have been waiting to see.
Melancholia
Lars Von Trier's latest cinematic shock therapy is perhaps his least misogynistic, but also not as well realized of a story as many of its predecessors. I can appreciate the emotional pain he invokes in the audience, but in the case of "Melancholia", the pain was not worth it! The film is split into two parts for the two sisters whom the film focuses on. The first part is about Justine at her lavish wedding party. She is pretty, wealthy, newly wed to a completely doting husband, and yet she is cripplingly depressed. We spend the first half of the film watching her being showered with attention and wealth, yet she is seething with depression. After about twenty minutes of this, I was desperately wondering what about this story are we supposed to be drawn to? By the end, you can see that Von Trier is satirizing the wealthy, showing us that ultimately wealth does not separate you from the existentialism of human condition. But the entire first hour does not give you enough perspective to see this. The film moves on to the second part of the story, focusing on Justine's highly practical sister, Claire. We discover that the world is watching a stray planet (named Melancholica) which may or may not crash into earth. And though this sci-fi element intrigued me, by the time it is revealed, I was tired of watching depressed rich people, and I just wanted the planet to crash into earth already.
Terra Nova
The basic premise for this show is that 150 years in the future, mankind is totally screwed. At mankind's daaaaaarkest hour, a time slip is found that goes back to dinosaur times, so the government (or whoever it is that runs America) decides to send colonists back in time in one final effort to save mankind. Can you guess the name of the colony? Terra Nova. Obviously. The planet is dying, the air is barely breathable, and social disparity is at it's worst. One of the new laws is that a family can only have two kids. Enter the Shannon family, who have THREE kids of course their third, is the special little illegal jewel of a precious girl... Obviously. The feds bust them and arrest the father. While the father (Jim, which always sounds like a fake name to me, because of David's use of the name as an alias with a hookup on "Six Feet Under") is in jail, the mother is asked to go to Terra Nova because of her mad doctor skillz (in the world of Terra Nova, "Doctor" means you can do everything, from electronics, to computer hacking, to biochemistry, it's all the same... Obviously.) But, the mother cannot bring their illegal child, so she breaks the husband out of jail, and smuggle him and the girl into Terra Nova. Once there, the Main Bro of Terra Nova decides to make Jim his Number One Bro (despite the fact that he is a fugitive), and the rest of the series pretty much unfolds as an epic Bro-Down with dinosaurs. There are a few women Bro-ing down too, you can spot the Women-Bros (Wo-Bros) because they all seem to have a huge surplus of liquid eye-liner. The show is utterly mediocre, and the entire season I kept waiting for them to explain why the Shannon family felt like they should be privileged enough to have extra children. The show seems to be all about family values (about half of the episodes end with the family cooing over children, babies or family in some way), but the leads are people who deliberately are breaking laws that are designed to create a better life for ALL families. I just think it's a terrible message to say "Have more kids, even when it's illegal. It's okay if we reeeeally want them, those other people should follow the rules, but we don't have to", when we ARE overpopulated, and ARE facing the dilemmas proposed in the show. The show is pretty much summed up by a line delivered by Commander Taylor (the Head Bro), when he is holding up a newborn baby, "This is what Terra Nova is all about". So, when it comes to Terra Nova (or as I like to call it, Terra-Brova), "Expect the expected".
American Horror Story
There are a few problems I have with the show. First being the main characters are pretty bland. But perhaps the most distasteful element I can give away without any spoilers is the way it handles the home's previous owners, a gay couple. It has utterly unfunny and tasteless jokes that a 13 year old would find funny, like the ol' "Those homos- I mean homeowners", yes someone really said that and quickly followed up with a "Queer eye for the straight guy" joke. One of the more interesting elements of the show is the slow reveal of decades worth previous residents of the home. It usually involves creepy people, doing creepy things... Unless the residents are gay. Then it obviously involves working out, a Martha Steward-esque level of crafting and squealing about "twinks". It just fumes me that the creators of this show (the creators of "Glee," which may be why they love stereotyping gay people) are the people in Hollywood that America sees as progressive in terms of gay characters in the media. There were more progressive gay characters on TV ten years ago (makes me appreciate David on "Six Feet Under")!
The latest spin-off of Project Runway is the same style of competition show, but with accessory designers instead of fashion designers. It's interesting because the work that goes into making shoes and bags and jewelry is very different from clothes. The problem is, watching a necklace and clutch purse coming down the runway is significantly less exciting than seeing unique and interesting clothing design. However, as a result, the judges really do appreciate the outrageous designs over demure, classy ones. And I'll take outrageous and interesting over boring and chic any day! The hosts and judges are mostly duds. Instead of Heidi Klum they have Molly Sims, who is so vacant, she makes the Stepford Wives look human. They've replaced Tim Gunn with Eva Jeanbart-Lorenzotti who is devoid of any kind of attachment or interest in anything... Which is actually pretty hilarious to watch. She comes across as a drunk pill popper who will smile and deliver lines, but really just doesn't want to hear about another clutch purse and can't wait to get back to her bloody mary backstage.
Project Runway All-Stars
Regarding Project Runway All-Stars.... Are these really the All-Stars? When I think All-Stars, I think of contestants who made it to the top 3, or final 4. The cast is full of people who were eliminated at the beginning, middle and end of their seasons. Because we've seen all these designers before, it almost seems too easy to predict who will make it to the top and who is just cannon fodder. Nevertheless, I'm excited and rooting for Jarell!!!!!
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